so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
