Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
