i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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