i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
