If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
