I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's the barista slut.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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