How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
