C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my liver is dry heaving
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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