please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it was like eating out sand paper
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
