is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
