how can u be prego again
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
