Banned from zoo.
Again?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize