omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
