and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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