he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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