there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
