I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
