Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just crazy horny about you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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