the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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