Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
