eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't notice because vodka
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
