So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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