So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
