He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize