My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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