I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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