There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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