i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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