I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
try to milk me bitch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
