Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
