Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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