i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
