did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
