So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
