Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
