so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
sex in a hospital.. check
I look excited, but its just a facade.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
