wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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