Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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