Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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