oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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