WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
