HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
