I just pynch a tree in the face
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
