I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
