What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
