i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
