i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
