Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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