i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
