I got chris browned last night
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
