Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
