Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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