Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
