wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
