We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
