The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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