pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize