bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
