I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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