just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't notice because vodka
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
