The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
