people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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