I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
