I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You smell like a Billy Joel song
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
