were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
