im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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