When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
